I hear Sirens Sounding Tonight...

I Hear Sirens Sounding Tonight………
And it takes me back… back to another Homecoming night, four years ago. I was supposed to drive my son and his date to the Homecoming game. I didn’t feel well that night so I told my son that he could use my Jimmy to pick up his date and go to the game. He had to be very careful because, at just 16 years old, he had only just gotten his permit, and he was supposed to have an adult driver in the car with him when he drove. He was  a good driver, just inexperienced. So I allowed him to go in the car alone. At about 10 pm my phone rang and it was my son. He’d had an accident and he was okay but the car was bad off and he had hit two other cars, could I please come quick. I remember he sounded so very scared. I hurried to the scene, only a few blocks away. And he was okay, every one was okay. Nine people involved and not a one was hurt. But my car was totaled.

I was so angry. He hadn’t been paying attention. Mom, he said, Jethro Tull came on the radio and I leaned over to turn it up and the other car was there, right in front of me and I had to hit it. And then I lost control and it jumped the curb and hit the other one. I am sooo sorry Mom. I was just going to meet my friends at the restaurant after the game.

You know, I was pretty mad at the time. I remember being so very angry. Giving my son some very angry looks and just being so short with him. I remember being thankful that no one was hurt. Thankful that every one walked away. People could have died that night. An old man had ran a stop light, that coupled with my son looking away at the radio, all those instances had added up to the accident. It wasn’t Tyler’s fault. Not really.

I shouldn’t have been so mad. I wish I could take it back. My anger. Because, now, as I look back, it was a pretty small thing. In the grand scheme of all that is, a very small thing. Because 6 months later, Tyler was dead. Not from a car accident. But from electricity. Electricity killed my son. And I regret the angry words I said to him the night of the car accident. It would have been better, had I just said, something like, son, I wish you had been paying better attention, although I see that it wasn’t your fault, I love you and I am so very very glad that you are okay. I cannot remember if I said that. I hope that I said those words to him.

And I worry as I hear these sirens, because tonight, tonight his younger brother is in his own car, at his own senior homecoming. And I pray that he will be paying attention. And even more, I pray that he will know, no matter what may transpire, that his mother loves him. Unconditionally and without any doubt, I pray he knows that I will always always love him. Just like I love his brother. I always have and I always will.